and.. go

I looked at my old intro and realized it would make a better chapter. So that left me without an intro.. here's a draft

There are a lot of different possible scenarios that can occur that will cause people to actually decide to write about themselves. I imagine one would be a realization that your accomplishments may be of interest to posterity and perhaps there is some clarity that only you could lend. Another reason people may be motivated to write is the insistence of their peers to do so. Least noble of these motivations is when the future author takes a long look at himself in the mirror and says to his reflection "I'm so damned interesting I should tell the world". Since I was only 6 years old when I had this epiphany I probably said "darned".

Legend has it I learned to read by sitting in the lap of my mother and grandmother as they read aloud passages of soft core housewife porn and readers digest condensed classics pointing at the words they were saying. I say 'legend' because I don't remember ever really learning how to read. I can imagine myself pushing to learn what letters meant in order to fill in the blanks left out in the more juicy parts. Or maybe even just to figure out who the shirtless guy on the cover of Love on the Open Sea was the book was and why he was kissing the shirtless lady. And was that the same guy from the cover of The Masters Desires?

Reading early meant learning to write early and there are several examples of my first attempts at short stories moldering away in a basement in Missouri. I took a look at some of them and I have to admit most of it is uninspired with poor suspension of disbelief. Only a story about a rascally letter R sneaking in to other words to change their meaning held any real promise. In retrospect it was so close to an episode of Sesame Street it is quite possibly the youngest attempt at plagerism attempted in modern times.

In eighth grade I approached a teacher to for a suggestion for a book about being a writer. I was expecting him to leap at the opportunity to help out a future author. To praise me for my initiative and to parade me around in front of the other students for them to take note and point out that I was an example future greatness walking among them. Instead he said "What will you write about you haven't done anything". I was hurt and a little embarrassed and dropped the subject.

Several weeks or possibly months later a drinking buddy of my stepfathers asked me what I was going to do when I grew up. I replied that I didn't know yet but my sister chimed in that I was going to write books. My stepdad smirked and said "what are you going to write about you haven't done anything". I don't know what it was exactly that caused it but I was now inspired. Maybe the fact that he was layed off from a job where he carried bags of flour into a truck. Or maybe it was the can of generic beer in one hand and a styrofoam cup of tobacco spit in the other. Coming from a teacher the words depressed me but coming from him they motivated me.

"Screw Him" I thought. It wasn't the first time I thought that and probably not even the first time that day. What does he know anyway?

I was starting to discover that it was his habit to keep someone from reaching too far in life as a way to keep them from falling too far. He was, in his own way, trying to protect me from "acting above my raising". It was nearly considered a sin to think you were better than your family and your community.
Newly energized by the fear of becoming a version of my stepfather, his friends or any of my uncles I started my first Diary. Only girls kept diaries so I kept my writing hidden and even enjoyed the idea that I, a boy, was keeping a diary anyway. Kiss my ass society! I'll do what I want.

In high school my diaries were changed to journals and had very little direction. Some were hateful descriptions of people at school. Some were entries like "went to band practice". A few were simple outlines of bad stories. Now my journals are called blogs and are the same format with more words.

The dream to be a writer never really died but it was a neat and tidy excuse to put it on the back burner when you knew you had to do some living first. Thirty was the first idea since I was convinced I probably wouldn't live past thirty five anyway. Seems extreme but my mother was 36 when I left home and it seemed so very very old. The promise to go write full time at thirty five became the promise to write when I turned forty. Now at forty two I'm getting serious I've gathered notes, talked to sources and looked in the mirror and said to my reflection "I'm so damned interesting I should tell the world".

Back to writing.

It's amazing how brilliant and creative I am when it comes to NOT writing. The excuses roll through my mind with such ease and mass that need only to pluck the closest one and it's a perfect reason to write tomorrow. If only avoidance were an olympic event.

Rainy Day Ponderings

Rainy day ponderings.

Reality shows are starting to really reach for new ideas. If you watch you'll find a few new shows featuring dwarves. One with a dwarf family and now one with a dwarf married couple. There's also a show about ex-con bikers that run a pitbull rescue. So what could be better? The show with dwarves running a pitbull rescue! Yeah I'm serious. They're starting to combine reality shows to get viewers and there's never been a better time to be a little person.

The suggestions I would have are Dwarf Hoarders... maybe that one could be called Little People Big Mess. Or how about a little person bounty hunter team... Puppy The Bounty Hunter. Mini Amazing Race; Survivor, Over The Rainbow; Midget Mythbusters could round out a Friday night followed by Little People Big Catch.. which is of course about an all dwarf fishing boat.

but is it good?

But is it a good movie?

What makes a good movie, really? A few of my friends and acquaintances in the business of various forms of story telling are finding themselves perplexed at "bad" movies selling a lot of tickets, "bad" books becoming best sellers and "bad" tv shows flooding their channels. I've given this subject some thought and thought I'd pass on a few of my observations.

First off what do you consider "good"? We're shaped by our teachers who are shaped by their teachers etc etc. This means that a bad idea can be passed down for a few hundred years before it changes. If a lesson plan says that in order to be considered a good piece of literature it has to have element A, Element B and Element C like a math equation who's going to be the first educator to stand up and say it's bad information?

Secondly I think with any project you have to look at the goal of the creators. If your goal is to create a tv show that films fast and is extremely cheap to produce then you film an entire season of a reality show in a week and collect your check. If your goal is to make every 13 year old girl (or gay man) fantasize about being in love with a misunderstood monster.. you write Twilight. If you want to hypnotize millions of people with special effects and action sequences then you make Avatar. Are they good? If you're in a classroom then no.. they aren't good. Do the people paying to see consume them or the people cashing the checks care that they aren't considered good by academic standards?.. probably not.

Third.. think about the difference between what you like and what you consider good. For example I can't stand Jane Austins books. I've only set down a small number of books without finishing them and Pride and Prejudice was one of them. On a side note Pride and Prejudice and Zombies is cracking me the hell up. Seems everything can be made better with the addition of the undead in any of its many forms.

So as you're writing, filming, drawing and sculpting think about your own goal. Do you want to create something people want to see or do you want to create something that will be considered good in the academic sense? Do you want fame and riches now or do you want children born long after you're dead to be forced to see your work? .... or.. both?

Review

Reviews

I think it's good writing practice to review other peoples work. Besides there's something cathartic about judging someone else.

I've seen a few movies recently. The Princess and the Frog from Disney. It wasn't bad but definitely "whited down" for a general audience. It looked to be set in the 1940's but didn't show any of the social issues of the time. But why should it really? The main target audience is children after all. It was nice to see something in the old style of Disney and for what it is it was it perfectly.

For some reason I don't want to like Robert Downey Jr. but if his performance in Iron man hadn't completely won me over to his camp then his performance in Sherlock Holmes definitely would have. The story line was well done touching on some of the classic concepts in the original Holmes stories but it was really only a small part of the movie after the acting, special effects and scenery. I hope the writer made some money.. but of course it wasn't really a new story was it?

For the first time I read the book A Confederacy of Dunces and I'm going to add it to the list of books I will reread. There's a subtle genius to it that I'd like to pinpoint and maybe emulate. The most surprising part of the book is that it had escaped my notice until now. Sadly the author is dead and has only written one other book. I find myself wondering if he would have written many pieces of genius or if this book was all he had in him creativity wise. Like having all of his luck spent at one time rather than piecing it out over the next several decades.

2,557 pics in December

Just to recap I decided in order to get better at taking pictures I had to take a LOT of pictures. The idea was to both get better at framing, composition and learning how to use a camera. At first I gave myself the task of 1,000 pictures taken in the month of December. There were no other rules than that but I knew I was trying to get better so I didn't just take 1,000 pictures of my feet.

It wasn't long before I realized that 1,000 pictures in San Diego in December was too easy of a goal. I live near Balboa Park, I went to Disneyland for a day and the holidays brought festivals with plenty of decorations. After the first week I decided 2,500 pictures was a better challenge.

It's January now and I finished Dec. with 2576 pictures. 678 of them taken with my phone the rest with my canon powershot. I'm going through them now and doing some editing and finally deleting the failed shots. I would say only about 15-20% of them are actually good shots. As the month went by I actually took more bad pictures. I think it was because I was stepping out and experimenting more with settings and trying several times to get a good shot of the same thing.

As I go through the rest of the pictures I'll post with any comments. For now though I'll get back to editing since I know this is about the point ADD kicks in and people stop reading posts.