Leaving San Diego 6

For nearly the entire time I’ve lived in San Diego I’ve had a membership to the San Diego Zoo and Wild Animal Park. It was always a great default place for a walk, to take picture or for a date. A lot of first dates happened in these zoos. It was also where I would walk almost daily to help lose weight when I wanted the job as a flight attendant.

My first membership was with my ex. It was one of the few things we liked to go together that wasn’t shopping. After we broke up a friend I’d met that worked at the zoo was kind enough to remove him from our membership and extend mine a few more months. After that I bought a membership. After that it was always a good gift for friends to give. It is a big part of what I consider to be my San Diego.

I’m so thoroughly acquainted with the zoo there’s nothing I feel I haven’t done but I’ll still take the time to say goodbye and will try to get to the Wild Animal Park. The WAP is further and a little more difficult to get to for me without a car.

Leaving San Diego 5

The final word still hasn’t come in for whether or not I’ll actually be moving to Atlanta. I would say it’s about a 75% chance. It’s ok though. Those are still good betting odds so I continue getting things ready. I start telling people.

“Atlanta? You? In the South? you’re going to hate it” I’ve heard this a few times in a few different versions. But these friends don’t realize I’ve lived in The South before. I moved to New Orleans in 1985 from Missouri. I know about the heat, I know about the humidity. But what my friends that really know me worry about is how I’ll deal with the stupidity. The racism. I’ve dealt with that before too, though. After all I’m from Missouri and was raised by white trash.

The nice thing about the announcement that you’re leaving an area is you do get taken out to lunch and dinner by almost everyone you know. Nothing like a sense of scarcity to fill up your social calendar.

Leaving San Diego 4

Round one in the storage unit. I’ve heard it said that the main reasons people put off a chore is because 1) it seems overwhelming or 2) they don’t know how to start or in my case 3) both and no car to haul crap away.
When I put this stuff here to I told myself and anyone who would listen that I wasn’t going to be one of those people to spend more money to store my stuff than my stuff was worth. That was over two years ago. Over $1800 ago. For stuff I’ve recently decided to just get rid of.
Today I just arranged and sifted. Old checks, leases for apartments. Paperwork for a home I no longer own, pay stubs, receipts for businesses, real estate license, tax forms. Five boxes total hand shredded and thrown out.
The papers that are left are a little trickier, Journals, legal documents, pictures etc. Luckily I have time and a storage unit so I shove it back in and lock the door. I’ll be back next week.

Leaving San Diego 3

After saying goodbye to Betty’s I looked at a few other restaurants. The thai place that is known for being a gay dating place. So much so that I would often go on a date and see someone else I had just gone on a date with earlier in the month. The Jewish Deli, fast food Greek place, The best pizza place then the second best pizza place where we eat salad. Then the coffee shop I wrote in for the last six months. It wasn’t fun and there was no happiness in these visits. It’s odd going into a place that has been a staple in your life for at least a decade and thinking it may be the last time you’ll ever see it.

One restaurant that wasn’t a staple was Brian’s. I’d eaten there but usually late at night when most other places were closed and I was too drunk to worry about how fattening the food was. I didn’t go to say goodbye really, I went because a friend wanted to go. While we were waiting for our food an ex walked in. A serious one. Over seven years together and I hadn’t seen him since the break up. He was with the friend that became his boyfriend after we broke up. He looked like Hell. When we broke up I thought he’d taken the best years of my life but he looked so bad I think I may have taken his. This was a happy goodbye to a place and a person I would probably never see again.

Moving to Atlanta, Leaving San Diego Post 2

I’m going to dinner with a few friends since I’m leaving. Part of me wants to go to places I’ve never gone to but always wanted to but instead I’m going to all of the places that have been regulars over the years.

Baja Betty’s. I was here at the opening when it was called Margarita Mary’s until it was sued by some dark business overlord somewhere and was forced to change the name. I was also here for several of the anniversary parties many times randomly walking in on the right day for free food. I watched the initial group of really hot guy waiters dwindle down to the more reliable and more professional average looking waiters.

One of my 40th birthday parties was held here (I had several parties the same year NOT turning 40 several times) as well as many of my friends b’days. This was also the scene of an admirers ,Gunther, famous breakdown when I decided waiting two hours for a table for 12 was just too long. Its when I got the infamous “why do you hate me” text message. Later that night he was mugged after a good old fashioned white trash trailer park style argument in front of my apartment.

Adios Betty’s and Buenos Suerte. In tribute I pour half of the signature drink, a kick ass margarita, on the curb. (not really, at 7 bucks a piece that’s just crazy)

Atlanta

May 1, 2010

I'm moving to Atlanta. Probably.

Reed called to tell me he has an interview for an internship in Atlanta for a company that makes baby clothes. Perfect for him and it sounds like a perfect fit. Time to get ready.

A large part of going somewhere is saying goodbye to the place you're leaving. Sometimes it's as easy as turning your back on a place you can't wait to leave but I really like San Diego and have had six great years here. Out of ten. That's more than fifty percent.

It's the right time. I can feel it in the air. My friend Alej is moving to Long Beach and moving on with his life with his new partner. Nobody needs me in San Diego, I don't have a car, I don't have any commitments and I'm really wanting a new experience. So Atlanta it is.

I nearly moved to Atlanta before the Olympics in 1995. I had just gotten my massage license and wanted to move so I could work on world class athletes. I don't remember why I didn't make the move out of Florida then but I didn't. Maybe a boyfriend. Probably a boyfriend.

Atlanta won't be my first time in the South either. I lived in New Orleans in the 80's and would like being back close to the Carolinas and some green landscapes. And it's cheaper to live there according to several articles. So Atlanta it is.

Crazy in Love

It was the pre-opening night of a new restaurant. Pre-opening meaning they were serving food as sort of a practice run for the actual opening scheduled for the coming weekend. I was there on a first date with a psychology student named Jory.

We'd met at a party the previous Friday. He joined a group of strangers that included me and introduced himself and told us what he did. One of the guys standing with us said "Oh, you're in psychology! You know I was fundamental in getting Xanax ready for the public." There was something weird in how he said "Fundamental in getting Xanax ready for the public" like they weren't really his words but something he had been told over and over in an attempt to convince him of his importance. I had also been standing there for a few minutes and this person didn't seem all that bright and I think I even saw a little bit of crazy in his eyes. I couldn't figure how he was possibly fundamental. Maybe just mental?

I didn't have to ask because Jory did. "Oh really? what part?" My humor Tourrette's kicked in and as a joke I blurted out "test subject!". My joke was ruined though when the guy we were talking to also said "test subject" at the same time I did. As the other guys standing around started pelting the human lab rat with questions Jory and I shared a sideways glance, a knowing smirk and bonded. He asked me out five minutes later.

The place for dinner was his idea. He explained a friend of a friend worked there, or owned the place or supplied food, I don't really remember, he then continued on to point out it's nice to get to know someone in a place that's not very busy or too loud. The other bonus of a place with few other customers was the fact that you can avoid running into friends or people you've already dated. That way if the date fell apart you could deny it ever happened. A strategy I picked up myself later.

We ordered our drinks and the waitress came over and promptly spilled them on us. We both jumped and moved fast avoiding a crotch dampening. In place of an apology from the server we heard "Oh know, not again!" as she ran off in the direction of the kitchen. Hopefully for a towel.

"Again?!" we both said in unison once we saw the swinging door close behind her scrunchied pony tail. "It's only been open one day!" Jory continued. But we laughed and since a towel or napkins didn't seem forthcoming we moved to one of the many other empty tables. This turned out to be a prudent move since we never saw our server again.

After twenty minutes or so a new waitress came over and introduced herself as Rondell. She was older and a lot more worn out than our first girl. She was a career waitress probably initially passed over for this shift for the cuter and younger model. She was nice though and smiled a lot showing off her bright white tooth. The tooth was up front and framed in gold and stood out both because of its artificial brightness and the fact it was compared to the rest of her full set of teeth which had been plaqued to a deep burnt amber color from what had to be years of chain smoking.

When our food came we asked Rondell what had happened to our first waitress. "Oh Lurlene?" she said and zoned out for a moment, a look of internal conflict on her face. She was debating whether or not it was professional to tell us what happened to Lurlene. I knew this type of woman though. I knew she'd tell us. She was bored was probably needing to release some of the pressure that builds up with a juicy gossip.

Somewhere between one second and two the moral dam broke and she leaned over to our table in conspiracy "Well, I probably shouldn't tell you this but right before work Lurlene got a call from her ex boyfriend or ex husband or whatever he is. Well anyway he got a baby on her about four years ago so whatever you call that. Well I guess he been drinking a lot since he lost his job over to the cabinet company." Rondell started picking up speed now. "Well I think he been beating on her and she got tired of it so she left him to stay with her mom. Anyway he calls up here and tells her that if she don't come back to him and stop being all crazy" She waved her hands in the air to illustrate the crazy part " that he was going to go bring his shotgun down here and shoot her then shoot hisself".

"Is she going to get fired?" Jory asked.

"No I don't think so. Ole Jayjack will probably let her come back when she gets it all squared off at home. That Jayjack is a good ole boy and he knows about crazy love. I'm gonna check on your food"

I always despise it when someone tells a story and names off people like everyone should know who they are. I realized our first waitress, the one with the homicidal boyfriend, or whatever, was probably Lurlene. Hell she even looked like a Lurlene. But I had to guess that Jayjack was a manager or owner.

As I was pondering the names of the players Jory brought up a really good point "We could have been shot!" I thought this was at least a little funny but Jory was genuinely alarmed. So alarmed that when Rondell came back with our food he asked her "So are we safe?"

She gave a confused glance at the food as though he thought she may have poisoned it or it was undercooked pork. Then it dawned on her what he meant. "Oh no that. Lurlene called and it's all fine now. Jakes been picked up by the police and probably gonna be in the jail all night. You know how that goes when you're crazy in love. It's kind of sweet once the craziness settles down and they get back to normal. Love will make you do them kind of things". I think she was actually wistful. Lost in a memory of her her own ex boyfriend (or whatever) and his death threats. "Do it while you're young is what I say" and she actually sighed dreamily.

A week later Jory dumped me. He called up and said it wasn't going to work out. He thought too many weird things happened to us too soon. Our first impressions of each other were ruined and besides he was thinking of transferring to Seattle for school.

I was surprised because I thought things had gone great! That was a great first date story. I replayed what could have gone wrong. Surely he didn't think lab rat guy was my friend. I didn't spill the drink on us and besides nobody got wet. He couldn't be blaming me for the restaurant could he? I didn't even pick the place, he did. It's not like I introduced Jake and Lurlene and started the chain of events up to Jakes arrest. The more I think about it the more I think it was the way Rondell said "crazy in love". When it came down to it Jory thought I would fall in love with him and try to shoot him. Which was crazy. I don't even own a shotgun anymore.