The more you write the more creative you get. For me the more I'm supposed to write or the closer I am to a deadline the more creative I get. But it's a creativity deferred.
For example... here's my head just this morning.
"ok.. this morning I have to finish up a first draft on this essay
Or I could read one of the ones that's near finished out loud. They always sound different out loud. No I should wit for an audience to do that. Where would I find an audience at this hour? Ok no I'll just work on this draft.
That was a good movie last night. I have to remember to write a review for it. I wonder i could ever be a professional movie reviewer? Probably not since I really only like to watch movies I only like to watch. I wonder what it takes to get movie reviewer jobs... I'll look it up real quick.
Ok back to this essay. It's actually pretty good. I think I could punch up that second part.... but this is the first draft I'll worry about that later. Maybe a few notes. Oh.. what was it I thought of last night? hmm.. maybe John knows. I'll send him a text to see if he remembers.
While I'm texting I should see what Tyrone is doing. He's off maybe he'll want to go to lunch or the zoo.
I should go to a coffee shop and write. I can concentrate better and it will give my roommate some privacy.
I wonder how Reed is. I'll see if he's somewhere he can take a phone call.
Ok the coffee shop is great I should take a few moments to write down the idea I had on the way over. Nothing too intricate just a little note on my facebook.
Think I would write better with a cupcake? maybe sugar will give me energy. I'll just look it up real quick.
Ok.. back to the essay.
Didn't hear back from John or Tyrone.
I should get a burrito.
I should check and see what Reed is doing.
Ok have to check my sites to see if anyone is wanting a massage. I have to make some money after all. Might as well check out some chat rooms too.
Look at all the fatties ordering cupcakes. I should write something about that.
Ok facebook is up and I have a few postings.. better check. I have to keep up with people after all.
Oh right.. I just remembered about that idea about my childhood. I'll just write a few paragraphs of that.
Holy crap that homeless crazy bitch just walked in and knocked a chair over and walked back out! I have to tell everyone since I already have facebook up.
cupcake. No I might go to lunch with someone later.
Reed posted he got a tablet. I should look that up and see what he's talking about.
What is that woman looking for? Stupid bitch just walking around. Probably an electric outlet? I'm just going to ignore her.
Should I write about that conversation I just had with that woman? No.. well maybe later I have to work on this essay.
I'm sure hungry. Where is Ty? Maybe we could go to the zoo.
I've been working on this essay for three hours and haven't gotten past two paragraphs! What the hell? How does this happen? I should write about that.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Who wrote his crap?
Who wrote this crap anyway?
I recently wrote a short note just to keep writing and to put down an idea I had. The idea was that I could also pull it up again later and maybe brush it off and fill it out more.
When I write I will sometimes scribble something down on paper or just type up some bullet points or an outline then come back and look at them with a fresh eye. As I'm writing I say in my head everything I'm writing so I will know what it will sound like if it's read out loud.
It doesn't work that way.
I read the few paragraphs to a friend. First reading of an unedited piece and thought to myself. Who wrote this crap? Repeated words. Repeated subjects of the sentence. It was like reading something translated from another language. Poorly.
It's a good lesson though. I need to literally read everything I write aloud. Maybe record it if I don't have an audience. The difference is a little frightening.
I recently wrote a short note just to keep writing and to put down an idea I had. The idea was that I could also pull it up again later and maybe brush it off and fill it out more.
When I write I will sometimes scribble something down on paper or just type up some bullet points or an outline then come back and look at them with a fresh eye. As I'm writing I say in my head everything I'm writing so I will know what it will sound like if it's read out loud.
It doesn't work that way.
I read the few paragraphs to a friend. First reading of an unedited piece and thought to myself. Who wrote this crap? Repeated words. Repeated subjects of the sentence. It was like reading something translated from another language. Poorly.
It's a good lesson though. I need to literally read everything I write aloud. Maybe record it if I don't have an audience. The difference is a little frightening.
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Burning Pigs and Hamsters
Hamsters and burning pigs
At the mall last week I saw a little boy that must have three or four years old. He was wearing glasses and talking nearly non stop to the adults dragging him along. I think it's safe to assume they were his parents since they had mastered complete indifference to whatever he was saying. He reminded me of myself at that age a little. The tiny little glasses. The font of information being wasted an otherwise numb family.
Yes, except for the fact he was blond this kid would grow up to be me one day. Unappreciated for the facts he's already collecting like other kids collect baseball cards. "Look at me" I wanted to say. "I am your future and I might at as well tell you right now that they don't care how smart you are".
He didn't hear me but he must have sensed me looking at him. He looked up and our eyes met and he said "A cat will eat baby hamsters if they are out. It's only natural" It seemed random. . But it wasn't. I knew what it was.
I picture at some point recently the little blond me had been lax in his hamster care and had left the top a little too loose and the babies escaped. He found them of course but not before the cat did. The cat, not used actually killing and eating prey didn't know what to do after the catching part. The mangled hamster corpses were found the next day. Maybe they had even been presented as a gift to the family.
Distraught over and maybe a little curious about his little dead pet he presented it to his mother. She explained to him the circle of life ending with a phrase she hoped would give him peace and ease his guilt a little. "A cat will eat baby hamsters if they are out. It's only natural" she explained. When he thought more about the dead rodents he would repeat this to himself so the healing could begin.
Not having the time to tell me the entire story but sensing I may be interested and that he only had a few seconds at most he chose the last line to blurt out. It was in fact the perfect line to say to convey the entire story, teach his audience, me, a little something and possibly make my life better. It was beautiful in its simplicity. I gave him a thoughtful nod and he continued being dragged in the opposite direction but now he had a proud look on his face.
As I walked on through the mall a thought occurred to me and I had the urge to find the kid and warn him as his future self. "It's not always cute saying out loud what's going on in your head!" I wanted to tell him. Saying a line from an inner musing when you're four years old is cute but saying a line from your inner musing when you're forty can come across as creepy.
For example. A friend had just told me that growing up he had seen an old tv show called In Search Of hosted by Leonard Nimoy. The show would pick a topic that was a myth or something supernatural like witches, the loch ness monster or Aliens and then add creepy music and go "In Search Of" evidence. I used to watch the show all the time and remember being scared to death by a story on bigfoot described to me by Spock.
If I had a fear from tv or movies it was always something that could get me and harm me. Like spiders or monsters. My friend however was haunted by the show about Spontaneous Human Combustion.
"What?" I asked "that's just crazy. When have you ever heard of anyone just bursting into flames?"
"It can happen, Steven and there's nothing you can do about it. It just happens. That's why it's called spontaneous. Your family or neighbors come home and all they see is a burnt chair and your feet and hands on the floor" It was obvious he was still a little scared of it.
As it turns out Spontaneous Human Combustion is something I know a little bit about. Unfortunately something came up and I didn't get to tell him that it wasn't really spontaneous after all and since he didn't smoke it was easier to avoid bursting into flames than it was to avoid killer bees or African zombies. Two other In Search Of shows that had scared the crap out of me.
I read an article or heard an article or watched a show that explained that the people thought to have spontaneously combusted had actually caught themselves on fire, probably accidently, and had slowly burned down to nothing but feet.
Though humans tend to think themselves mostly inflammable one scientist, I'll call him Bill discovered that since most of the subjects were smokers and many had drinking problems. This helped support the idea that they accidently caught themselves on fire. Bill found out that if our bodies catch on fire even a little the melting fat will wick up through the fibers of our clothes making us burn like tallow candles. The alcohol makes us burn faster or helps us to light up in the first place.
For most people that's the interesting part. For me the interesting part was finding out that Bill used pigs to confirm this experiment. I guess they have the same basic body make up as people do. Picture it though. Bill stopped by a farm and picked up a pig on the way to the laboratory. To properly recreate the scenario there had to be alcohol so he got it drunk. There had to be fibers for the wick effect so it had to have clothes. Since a pig can't wear pants I'm sure he used a nice sun dress. Probably something from JC Penney with a floral print. Then he flipped a cigarette at it and tried to catch it on fire.
Add some blue eye shadow and chipped nail polish and it's what we used to refer to in Missouri as the third date.
This is what was going through my head when the little blond boy said "A cat will eat baby hamsters if they are out. It's only natural". Luckily I've developed a filter so I don't look creepy otherwise my response would have been "A drunk pig in a dress will burn if you get it drunk".
At the mall last week I saw a little boy that must have three or four years old. He was wearing glasses and talking nearly non stop to the adults dragging him along. I think it's safe to assume they were his parents since they had mastered complete indifference to whatever he was saying. He reminded me of myself at that age a little. The tiny little glasses. The font of information being wasted an otherwise numb family.
Yes, except for the fact he was blond this kid would grow up to be me one day. Unappreciated for the facts he's already collecting like other kids collect baseball cards. "Look at me" I wanted to say. "I am your future and I might at as well tell you right now that they don't care how smart you are".
He didn't hear me but he must have sensed me looking at him. He looked up and our eyes met and he said "A cat will eat baby hamsters if they are out. It's only natural" It seemed random. . But it wasn't. I knew what it was.
I picture at some point recently the little blond me had been lax in his hamster care and had left the top a little too loose and the babies escaped. He found them of course but not before the cat did. The cat, not used actually killing and eating prey didn't know what to do after the catching part. The mangled hamster corpses were found the next day. Maybe they had even been presented as a gift to the family.
Distraught over and maybe a little curious about his little dead pet he presented it to his mother. She explained to him the circle of life ending with a phrase she hoped would give him peace and ease his guilt a little. "A cat will eat baby hamsters if they are out. It's only natural" she explained. When he thought more about the dead rodents he would repeat this to himself so the healing could begin.
Not having the time to tell me the entire story but sensing I may be interested and that he only had a few seconds at most he chose the last line to blurt out. It was in fact the perfect line to say to convey the entire story, teach his audience, me, a little something and possibly make my life better. It was beautiful in its simplicity. I gave him a thoughtful nod and he continued being dragged in the opposite direction but now he had a proud look on his face.
As I walked on through the mall a thought occurred to me and I had the urge to find the kid and warn him as his future self. "It's not always cute saying out loud what's going on in your head!" I wanted to tell him. Saying a line from an inner musing when you're four years old is cute but saying a line from your inner musing when you're forty can come across as creepy.
For example. A friend had just told me that growing up he had seen an old tv show called In Search Of hosted by Leonard Nimoy. The show would pick a topic that was a myth or something supernatural like witches, the loch ness monster or Aliens and then add creepy music and go "In Search Of" evidence. I used to watch the show all the time and remember being scared to death by a story on bigfoot described to me by Spock.
If I had a fear from tv or movies it was always something that could get me and harm me. Like spiders or monsters. My friend however was haunted by the show about Spontaneous Human Combustion.
"What?" I asked "that's just crazy. When have you ever heard of anyone just bursting into flames?"
"It can happen, Steven and there's nothing you can do about it. It just happens. That's why it's called spontaneous. Your family or neighbors come home and all they see is a burnt chair and your feet and hands on the floor" It was obvious he was still a little scared of it.
As it turns out Spontaneous Human Combustion is something I know a little bit about. Unfortunately something came up and I didn't get to tell him that it wasn't really spontaneous after all and since he didn't smoke it was easier to avoid bursting into flames than it was to avoid killer bees or African zombies. Two other In Search Of shows that had scared the crap out of me.
I read an article or heard an article or watched a show that explained that the people thought to have spontaneously combusted had actually caught themselves on fire, probably accidently, and had slowly burned down to nothing but feet.
Though humans tend to think themselves mostly inflammable one scientist, I'll call him Bill discovered that since most of the subjects were smokers and many had drinking problems. This helped support the idea that they accidently caught themselves on fire. Bill found out that if our bodies catch on fire even a little the melting fat will wick up through the fibers of our clothes making us burn like tallow candles. The alcohol makes us burn faster or helps us to light up in the first place.
For most people that's the interesting part. For me the interesting part was finding out that Bill used pigs to confirm this experiment. I guess they have the same basic body make up as people do. Picture it though. Bill stopped by a farm and picked up a pig on the way to the laboratory. To properly recreate the scenario there had to be alcohol so he got it drunk. There had to be fibers for the wick effect so it had to have clothes. Since a pig can't wear pants I'm sure he used a nice sun dress. Probably something from JC Penney with a floral print. Then he flipped a cigarette at it and tried to catch it on fire.
Add some blue eye shadow and chipped nail polish and it's what we used to refer to in Missouri as the third date.
This is what was going through my head when the little blond boy said "A cat will eat baby hamsters if they are out. It's only natural". Luckily I've developed a filter so I don't look creepy otherwise my response would have been "A drunk pig in a dress will burn if you get it drunk".
Friday, August 28, 2009
Back to school
Several of my friends that have lost their jobs are making the decision to go back to school. A few of my friends that are still in school are also heading back or are already in class. It's got me thinking maybe I should go back to school.
While everyone else has had to think long and hard about what they're going to do and what classes they'll take I didn't have to. I decided in a matter of moments that if I do go back to school I'm going back to 3rd grade. It's more than the thought of crayons and pencil boxes with built in sharpeners that appeals to me.
There are some decided advantages of going back to 3rd grade as an adult. For one I should be the smartest in class. Of course if I'm not and someone else does better than I do then that kid is a genius and I really can't be expected to best a genius anyway. History especially should be easier the second time around and anything past the 70's I would have first hand knowledge of anyway.
Of course the social part may be a little awkward. I would expect to be the tallest in class again but this time by 2-3 feet. If I get a crush on the teacher I could actually do something about it. Though He/She would probably be 10 years younger. Of course the bonus would be I would be the best hung boy in class.. finally.
While everyone else has had to think long and hard about what they're going to do and what classes they'll take I didn't have to. I decided in a matter of moments that if I do go back to school I'm going back to 3rd grade. It's more than the thought of crayons and pencil boxes with built in sharpeners that appeals to me.
There are some decided advantages of going back to 3rd grade as an adult. For one I should be the smartest in class. Of course if I'm not and someone else does better than I do then that kid is a genius and I really can't be expected to best a genius anyway. History especially should be easier the second time around and anything past the 70's I would have first hand knowledge of anyway.
Of course the social part may be a little awkward. I would expect to be the tallest in class again but this time by 2-3 feet. If I get a crush on the teacher I could actually do something about it. Though He/She would probably be 10 years younger. Of course the bonus would be I would be the best hung boy in class.. finally.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Eureka... maybe
I have a story that has the unique problem of being so out there and so crazy that it's difficult for me to narrate it and sound believable. I think the answer is going to be to reproduce the story by saying "as told by" one of the cousins it happened to. This will change the timber of the collection but I think for it to come across as plausible that's really the only way.
The idea came to me while listening to Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain. The accents done by the reader are perfect! Most people I've met don't realize there's a midwest accent but that's because unlike a little education and application can help you overcome it. Without those two things you tend to stay in the midwest and not come in contact with anyone who doesn't talk just like you do.
The idea came to me while listening to Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain. The accents done by the reader are perfect! Most people I've met don't realize there's a midwest accent but that's because unlike a little education and application can help you overcome it. Without those two things you tend to stay in the midwest and not come in contact with anyone who doesn't talk just like you do.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Outliers... my thoughts
Writing Every Day...
I finished the audio book Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell and it is one that I'll listen to multiple times. I do this with different books sometimes to get them engrained in my head. One that I did this with was years ago was Think And Grow Rich. It was a compilation of stories by Napolean Hill about the super rich people of his time. These included Carnegie, Rockefeller, JP Morgan, Flagler, etc.
The irony is that book tells us that the rich have attitudes that actually attract wealth to them. It was written in a time when it was ok to be openly racist and a few other ideals that are now antiquated come through. If you read it try to get on of the original unedited versions. In contrast though Outliers basically tears down the idea of the self made man and that any individual can manifest this attraction. Basically Mr Gladwell in his book says that much of it is luck.
I've often bristled when someone refers to me as "Lucky" when they're commenting on my situation or the life I've lead. I've gone so far in business speaking engagements to pronounce that the only luck one has is where you were born and who you were born to. Outliers adds one more line to that list and says "when you were born". After Outliers I'm going to have to admit to myself that luck is a big part of success and lack of success after all.
The problem I find inherent in believing that much of success is luck is it downplays all of the hard work that must accompany that luck in order for great success to happen. It also gives an excuse not to try anything. "I'm just not lucky enough to be like you" could become even more of a reason not to do better than it already is.
In the grander scheme of things what good is this information? For one I think it can make one more appreciative of the people and circumstances that put them where they are today. I for one have always had books at my disposal and was taught to read at a very young age. Would I be where I am today without reading so much? I don't think so.
Secondly I believe that once you've accepted that part of success is taking advantage of the opportunities presented to you then you will start identifying those opportunities and and using them to your advantage.
Third I think it softens how you look at people less fortunate than you are. Where would you be today if your parents had been illiterate or mentally handicapped? Could you be in your current position if instead of school you had to help bring water to your family as soon as you were old enough to carry?
I'm still not completely sure how to benefit from this book past peace of mind. He states that if Bill Gates had been born 5 years earlier or 5 years later wouldn't be the mega rich man he is today. He would have missed a very narrow window of opportunity the even he admits he was lucky to be in. That opportunity being the invention of the personal computer when he was 21 years old. Steve Jobs of Apple btw is nearly the same age.
One point that came to mind but wasn't directly addressed boy Outliers was that the influences the people he profiled had weren't always what we would consider positive at first. Jews going into law in New York in the early 1900's weren't allowed to join prestigious companies and so had to go out on their own. They would take any case that came into the office and would often end up with the less desirable jobs the larger firms wouldn't take. Sounds like a negative. But this meant in the long run they became experts at a type of law that gained in volume. They more or less cornered the market and became rich because of it. If they had lived in a time where hiring a Jew was not a problem they would be just another lawyer in a big firm.
In my own life I think I was lucky that I didn't get along with my parents. If I had then I would still be in that small town in Missouri with 2-3 kids and just as many ex wives. I would have a job I didn't care about and probably wouldn't have traveled much. I guess what it really comes down to is there is no negative or positive influence. Just Influence and how one decides to label it is up to that individual.
Another thing that wasn't touched on directly by the author was how you look and how it effects your life. I've seen many studies that show people are treated differently based on how they look. I think that being overlooked and underestimated is as powerful as being a the person everyone notices.
I finished the audio book Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell and it is one that I'll listen to multiple times. I do this with different books sometimes to get them engrained in my head. One that I did this with was years ago was Think And Grow Rich. It was a compilation of stories by Napolean Hill about the super rich people of his time. These included Carnegie, Rockefeller, JP Morgan, Flagler, etc.
The irony is that book tells us that the rich have attitudes that actually attract wealth to them. It was written in a time when it was ok to be openly racist and a few other ideals that are now antiquated come through. If you read it try to get on of the original unedited versions. In contrast though Outliers basically tears down the idea of the self made man and that any individual can manifest this attraction. Basically Mr Gladwell in his book says that much of it is luck.
I've often bristled when someone refers to me as "Lucky" when they're commenting on my situation or the life I've lead. I've gone so far in business speaking engagements to pronounce that the only luck one has is where you were born and who you were born to. Outliers adds one more line to that list and says "when you were born". After Outliers I'm going to have to admit to myself that luck is a big part of success and lack of success after all.
The problem I find inherent in believing that much of success is luck is it downplays all of the hard work that must accompany that luck in order for great success to happen. It also gives an excuse not to try anything. "I'm just not lucky enough to be like you" could become even more of a reason not to do better than it already is.
In the grander scheme of things what good is this information? For one I think it can make one more appreciative of the people and circumstances that put them where they are today. I for one have always had books at my disposal and was taught to read at a very young age. Would I be where I am today without reading so much? I don't think so.
Secondly I believe that once you've accepted that part of success is taking advantage of the opportunities presented to you then you will start identifying those opportunities and and using them to your advantage.
Third I think it softens how you look at people less fortunate than you are. Where would you be today if your parents had been illiterate or mentally handicapped? Could you be in your current position if instead of school you had to help bring water to your family as soon as you were old enough to carry?
I'm still not completely sure how to benefit from this book past peace of mind. He states that if Bill Gates had been born 5 years earlier or 5 years later wouldn't be the mega rich man he is today. He would have missed a very narrow window of opportunity the even he admits he was lucky to be in. That opportunity being the invention of the personal computer when he was 21 years old. Steve Jobs of Apple btw is nearly the same age.
One point that came to mind but wasn't directly addressed boy Outliers was that the influences the people he profiled had weren't always what we would consider positive at first. Jews going into law in New York in the early 1900's weren't allowed to join prestigious companies and so had to go out on their own. They would take any case that came into the office and would often end up with the less desirable jobs the larger firms wouldn't take. Sounds like a negative. But this meant in the long run they became experts at a type of law that gained in volume. They more or less cornered the market and became rich because of it. If they had lived in a time where hiring a Jew was not a problem they would be just another lawyer in a big firm.
In my own life I think I was lucky that I didn't get along with my parents. If I had then I would still be in that small town in Missouri with 2-3 kids and just as many ex wives. I would have a job I didn't care about and probably wouldn't have traveled much. I guess what it really comes down to is there is no negative or positive influence. Just Influence and how one decides to label it is up to that individual.
Another thing that wasn't touched on directly by the author was how you look and how it effects your life. I've seen many studies that show people are treated differently based on how they look. I think that being overlooked and underestimated is as powerful as being a the person everyone notices.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
The San Francisco door.
Mrs. Guess had lived at 1474 Pine Street in San Francisco for nearly 50 years. The home had belonged to her grandparents as a proper home before they made the financial decision to split it into apartments and to take in renters. There was a sense of loss having a home that wasn't truly and entirely your home but the income it generated in these crazy times of such extremely high rents suited her well enough.
Her later years were very comfortable. No worries about money and the best apartment on the sunny side of the street left her without many pressing needs. Because of this she found herself becoming more curious about life around the world. No fewer than five magazines a month found their way to her door all of which brought her stories of different cultures and glorious pictures of places she would probably never see except for in their pages.
With so much to read about concerning places around the world it was very easy to ignore what was right in front of your face. Especially if it was something that had been right in front of your face for over fifty years. Directly across the street from Mrs. Guess's private patio between two townhouses was a door. This was not uncommon in the city since homes were pushed up close to each other leaving a continues wall of buildings from one block to the next.
As common as it was to have a door like the one across the street and as common as it was to see it and not see it on a daily basis this morning the door did something very uncommon today. It opened. Then something happened that Mrs Guess realized had not ever seen happen in the entire time she'd lived on Pine Street or for the entire time she'd even been in the home visiting her grandparents. Someone came out of the door.
Its seemed queer to realize you've never seen anyone exit or enter a door you've seen every day for over half a century. But what happened next struck Mrs. Guess as even more queer. The person who exited on to the street, a man by the looks of him, did something very queer himself. He looked surprised. Gave a quick look around smiled so big surely his face would split in two then walked down the hill towards the financial district.
Why would he be surprised to find himself on the street like that? Mrs Guess wondered to herself. Why had she never seen anyone go in and out of that door? She never gave it much though but if she had assumed anything about the door she would probably have assumed it was an alley door between buildings. What had changed though? And why was she suddenly so curious about that door?
Her later years were very comfortable. No worries about money and the best apartment on the sunny side of the street left her without many pressing needs. Because of this she found herself becoming more curious about life around the world. No fewer than five magazines a month found their way to her door all of which brought her stories of different cultures and glorious pictures of places she would probably never see except for in their pages.
With so much to read about concerning places around the world it was very easy to ignore what was right in front of your face. Especially if it was something that had been right in front of your face for over fifty years. Directly across the street from Mrs. Guess's private patio between two townhouses was a door. This was not uncommon in the city since homes were pushed up close to each other leaving a continues wall of buildings from one block to the next.
As common as it was to have a door like the one across the street and as common as it was to see it and not see it on a daily basis this morning the door did something very uncommon today. It opened. Then something happened that Mrs Guess realized had not ever seen happen in the entire time she'd lived on Pine Street or for the entire time she'd even been in the home visiting her grandparents. Someone came out of the door.
Its seemed queer to realize you've never seen anyone exit or enter a door you've seen every day for over half a century. But what happened next struck Mrs. Guess as even more queer. The person who exited on to the street, a man by the looks of him, did something very queer himself. He looked surprised. Gave a quick look around smiled so big surely his face would split in two then walked down the hill towards the financial district.
Why would he be surprised to find himself on the street like that? Mrs Guess wondered to herself. Why had she never seen anyone go in and out of that door? She never gave it much though but if she had assumed anything about the door she would probably have assumed it was an alley door between buildings. What had changed though? And why was she suddenly so curious about that door?
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