Sunday, December 27, 2009

grades of white trash

I was walking through the park and saw a sign in a truck window that said "I spell relief F A R T". This is natures way of helping us find white trash in the wild. I myself am an expert in the study of white trash and have decided to pass on a few pointers concerning classifications.

If your subject has a t'shirt or hat that has the word "fart" on it.. then you have white trash. If there is a bumper sticker or yard sign that has the word "fart" then you have super white trash. A "fart" tatoo is super duper white trash.

A name tattoo is white trash. A name tattoo on the neck is super white trash. A name tattoo on the neck that's been crossed out and a new one added is super duper white trash.

Artifacts that point to white trash. Billy the singing bass. Any artwork made from beer cans, bottle caps or discarded pull tabs. Lawn cut outs like a cow or lady bending over showing her bloomers. Anything with NASCAR on it. Vessels for spitting in (unless it's a dentists office).

Getting married to an ex husbands brother is white trash... at walmart so the dress could be worn for the pictures without buying it is super white trash... Marrying at the trailer park because walmart was booked and wearing a hooters uniform while pregnant is super duper white trash.

Mullet

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